Falling in love is so emotionally exhausting,
And we all know what happened with my last relationship.
So.
I don't know if i'm willing to take the risk again -
Put everything on the line,
Again.
Not knowing if it will be dashed to bits or not,
My already once-broken heart.

I don't dare to give my all
Because i'm afraid that if i give my all,
And if,
If,
If
It happens,
Then what would be left of me?
Nothing.
Because i gave every last piece of myself to you.

And you can say i'm selfish, but
I don't want to feel that loneliness,
That despair of being cast aside,
That complete and utter emptiness,
Again.

So, please pardon my hesitation.
Pardon my lack of enthusiasm.
Because in spite of all the pretty words spoken,
All the promises made
(which i do intend to keep),
There lies this seed of doubt at the back of my mind.

The possibility that everything might not work out,
That this impossibly perfect world might just come crashing down on me,
Again.

But yet,
The warm blood flows through me,
Reminding me that i'm human,
That i have a heart,
Emotions.

Emotions that
Deny logic.

Emotions that
Cast aside fears and doubt.

Emotions that
Keep me trusting despite all odds.

So is this called love?

Or am i just trying to convince myself?

Am i so desperate to fall in love?

I can't seem to answer these questions myself.

Mind versus heart.

Can i never end the conflict?

Falling in love is so emotionally exhausting,
And we all know what happened with my last relationship.
So.
I don't know if i'm willing to take the risk again -
Put everything on the line,
Again.
Not knowing if it will be dashed to bits or not,
My already once-broken heart.

I don't dare to give my all
Because i'm afraid that if i give my all,
And if,
If,
If
It happens,
Then what would be left of me?
Nothing.
Because i gave every last piece of myself to you.

And you can say i'm selfish, but
I don't want to feel that loneliness,
That despair of being cast aside,
That complete and utter emptiness,
Again.

So, please pardon my hesitation.
Pardon my lack of enthusiasm.
Because in spite of all the pretty words spoken,
All the promises made
(which i do intend to keep),
There lies this seed of doubt at the back of my mind.

The possibility that everything might not work out,
That this impossibly perfect world might just come crashing down on me,
Again.

But yet,
The warm blood flows through me,
Reminding me that i'm human,
That i have a heart,
Emotions.

Emotions that
Deny logic.

Emotions that
Cast aside fears and doubt.

Emotions that
Keep me trusting despite all odds.

So is this called love?

Or am i just trying to convince myself?

Am i so desperate to fall in love?

I can't seem to answer these questions myself.

Mind versus heart.

Can i never end the conflict?