i'm so sad and disappointed at so many things in my life right now.
my shitty grades - average of C;
first it was clinical
then org psych.
sigh.

Then Leong Hwee.

And all my family conflict.
Why does mom have to take offense at everything, and hurt people back so much?
Now my phase is over, she's teaming with da jie to persecute dad.
da jie has a valid reason - she does not.
she's just riding on the negativity to lash out at dad.
why.
why.

No one wants to talk to me now.
Not in school,
not at home.
I can't even sms Jason.

And i'm crying now.
like haha.
crying at a computer.
thank god the com lab is empty.

should it be hurting so much to be good?
should it be hurting so much to do the right thing?

i was so desperate to have a conversation yesterday
i even bitched about meng yee to leong hwee
just so that he would talk to me.
but it was wrong.
and i was stupid.

i really want to have someone i can lean on now.
someone i can hug
and cry with
and seek comfort.
I know its supposed to be God

but i wish there would just be a person i can confide in.
charis? perhaps i should.
but i need to study too.
and do the presentation.
sigh.

life.
so depressing.

i'm so sad and disappointed at so many things in my life right now.
my shitty grades - average of C;
first it was clinical
then org psych.
sigh.

Then Leong Hwee.

And all my family conflict.
Why does mom have to take offense at everything, and hurt people back so much?
Now my phase is over, she's teaming with da jie to persecute dad.
da jie has a valid reason - she does not.
she's just riding on the negativity to lash out at dad.
why.
why.

No one wants to talk to me now.
Not in school,
not at home.
I can't even sms Jason.

And i'm crying now.
like haha.
crying at a computer.
thank god the com lab is empty.

should it be hurting so much to be good?
should it be hurting so much to do the right thing?

i was so desperate to have a conversation yesterday
i even bitched about meng yee to leong hwee
just so that he would talk to me.
but it was wrong.
and i was stupid.

i really want to have someone i can lean on now.
someone i can hug
and cry with
and seek comfort.
I know its supposed to be God

but i wish there would just be a person i can confide in.
charis? perhaps i should.
but i need to study too.
and do the presentation.
sigh.

life.
so depressing.